Dear Japan: I hate your fancy electric toilets.

Dear Japan,

You think your toilets with the built in bidets are so fancy and hygienic. They're not... They suck...

Bacteria and ... umm... "human offerings" often get trapped in the space between the bottom of the electrical housing of the seat and the top of the toilet bowl. The only way to completely clean the toilet is to remove the seat from the bowl; however, there's an electrical ground wire and water hose with a proprietary clamp connected to the darn thing. There's also no feature to extend the bidet nozzle for cleaning. 



In summation. These things are expensive and disgusting.

But it only brings you "happy poopy time!" Thanks futurama, for now forever ingraining that phrase whenever I see any fancy toilets 

I had to pause and think of my favorite futurama joke for a minute, but I settled on this.